Forty Things

Learnings from four decades of trips around the sun.

Welcome to The Autumn Chronicles, a place to shine a light on all the wonder around us as we navigate the seasons. I hope these writings allow you to sit quietly with a cup of something warm and comforting and take a few moments for yourself away from the rush and hurry. If you would like to make sure you get all newsletters directly to your inbox, please subscribe below. Thank you for being here. All photos © The Autumn Chronicles.

I have never been someone who has dreaded birthdays but, ever since my mother died, I have relished them. The chance to take another trip around the sun is something that will always feel so special to me because I am acutely aware that not everyone gets that chance. I am grateful to gain another year; one of my overriding fears is not having that opportunity and that dread, born out of losing my mother, is something that lurks constantly in the shadows of my mind. I love Christmas but I much prefer birthdays as they are a chance to really celebrate the people we love and be thankful for the lives they lead, their particular brand of uniqueness and the times we get to share with them.

My expectations for my life have changed a lot over the past year. I have historically been someone who put a premium on achievement, on how much I could do, in order to define my self worth. The ups and downs of 2024 taught me that, actually, perhaps my worth is better defined by the small but meaningful moments. The times I have lost myself in a good book, the times I have marvelled at the beauty of a sunset, the times I have belly laughed with my husband or with good friends, the times I have sat at my laptop to write from the heart, hoping that someone, even just one person, would read it and would relate to what I have to say.

It is a fact that not everyone will live a life where they are famous or masters of their fields, or manage to leave a legacy that outlasts them eternally. For at least a decade now, I have been having a sort of ongoing existential crisis, becoming preoccupied with what, if anything, I would leave behind me. As I don’t have children, I’m not leaving a physical legacy and my descendants won’t occupy this world after I have ceased to tread its paths. There is a part of me that finds this heartbreaking as it means that I am one of the final manifestations of the culmination of all those years of history, of the lives of all my ancestors. It is a weight I have carried while my husband and I considered our decision not to have children, with all the attendant complexities inherent in that discussion. The reasons were various but right for us: some medical, some societal, some down to timing. I told my husband that I was worried about not leaving anything meaningful behind me. He responded with a very simple question: “is creating the best possible life for each other, for the time we have together, not meaningful enough?” It is and has always been enough.

There are other ways to leave a legacy however; we can all live fully and beautifully in the moment, making the most of the time we have and choosing to be intentional with what we do. We can carefully choose the people with whom we surround ourselves, making connections and nurturing relationships that nourish, fulfil and replenish us. We can embrace each day as a new beginning and let ourselves be guided by the ebb and flow of the seasons, enjoying everything during its time and combining ritual and joy to ensure we maximise each stage of life and its teachings. There is so much beauty in our extraordinary ordinary lives.

To celebrate reaching this milestone birthday last week, here are forty things - beliefs, statements, mantras - I have come to value over the past four decades. Some of them may seem cliched but they have provided a touchpoint, a cornerstone on my journey so far and are beliefs I hope to take with me, and expand upon, into this next stage of life.

1. You are enough, just as you are.

2. Authenticity is more important than (perceived) success.

3. Trust your gut. Trust the journey.

4. Protect your peace and have your own back. You are your own best cheerleader and your own best friend.

5. Contentment is the key to happiness.

6. Wear the good perfume, write in the best notebook, use the posh china. Make each day extraordinary.

7. Sometimes silence is a response all of its own, for good or bad.

8. Let things go with grace, even when they are hard or you do not agree.

9. Being is more valuable than doing.

10. No is a complete sentence.

11. Prioritise your health; move your body in some way every day.

12. Be kind, always (unless someone is taking advantage of you, in which case, it’s ok to set a boundary - see #10).

13. Don’t be afraid to dream. Some of the best ideas come from letting your imagination fly.

14. There is a lesson in everything, for good or bad, if you look hard enough.

15. Simple pleasures are the best pleasures.

16. You are not responsible for the image of you in anyone else’s head. More often than not, it is a projection of their own insecurities and fears.

17. Failure is a stepping stone.

18. Time is the most valuable resource and the greatest gift.

19. Don’t compete; focus on your own path.

20. Embrace change as a means for growth, even if it seems scary or hard. There is potential everywhere.

21. Take time to get to know yourself, understand what truly makes you happy - and then prioritise it.

22. Be grateful, relentlessly.

23. Be curious and don’t let life dim your curiosity.

24. Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it.

25. Find your tribe and nurture them. Friends are the family we choose for ourselves.

26. Be courageous.

27. Commitment, consistency and persistence are the keys to achievement.

28. Be intentional about your life.

29. True wealth comes from experiences and relationships, not things.

30. Spend time outside; immersing yourself in nature is a great way to feel connected to the wider world.

31. It is always darkest just before the dawn. This too shall pass.

32. Focus on what you can control; forget the rest. Don’t let the noise distract you.

33. Read - it is the best way to live a thousand lives.

34. The most wonderful things in life genuinely are free.

35. Feel what you need to feel when you need to feel it. There is no rush and no timeline.

36. Travel, in whatever way you can. There is so much richness and wonder to explore, even if you don’t leave the country.

37. Prioritise self care. Rest when you need it. Dance in the kitchen at the end of a long day.

38. Actively seek magic in every season of life and in each season of the year.

39. Even bad days can end with sunsets.

40. And finally, in the words of Baz Lurhmann, wear sunscreen (especially if your skin is as pale and prone to burning at the slightest hint of sun as mine is!)

I’d love to know: do any of these resonate with you? Is there anything you would add to the list?

If you have enjoyed this post or if something has resonated with you, please share to help others find The Autumn Chronicles. I am so grateful to you for being here and for choosing to read these words.